MAX HEADROOM - Ratings War 2030
by ElegantButler
Summary: 25 years after the original series, viewers have become fed up with the constant barrage of poor quality programming and they and the networks are on the brink of armed conflict.
1. Chapter 1

**RATINGS WAR 2030**

by Elegant Butler

-Chapter 1:

Edison Carter tried to snuggle up to his wife of many years. But tonight, despite being wide awake, Vanna wasn't having it.

"You promised me when we married that you wouldn't put yourself in danger any more." Vanna said, stiffly. "And tomorrow where are you going? To war!"

"I'm not going to war, Vanna," Edison explained. "I'm going to London as..."

"As an ambassador. Yes, I know." Vanna rolled over to face him. "And when that fails, then what? Are you going to come home to me? Is the great Edison Carter going to walk away from friends in need and come home to his wife? Of course not!"

"I haven't been the great Edison Carter for years," Edison pointed out.

"But you still have that reputation! That's what this Magnus guy is counting on."

"It's what we're all counting on," Edison said. "And let's say you're right. Let's say I am going to end up in war, do you really want to miss out on what might be our final cuddle?"

"You better make sure it isn't, mister," Vanna said, finally letting him hold her close.

They did not make love that night. The mood was too solemn. Instead, they enjoyed each other's warmth as they held each other until sleep finally came.

In the attic guest room, Bryce curled up with his wife Jenny, marveling at how young she always looked after they'd spend precious moments in a tender act of love. To him, her streaks of gray hair made her look more like a comic book hero than a woman who was getting on in age.

"I hope Edison will be able to talk sense into those people," he told her. "He's always had a knack when it comes to speaking with important people."

"We can only hope for the best Bryce," Jenny told him.

"Is that really all we can do, Jen?" Bryce asked her. "I wish there was more. It seems so unfair to have the intelligence that you and I each have and not be able to do anything more than hope."

"I know, Bryce," Jenny agreed.

In the morning, Vanna got dressed and walked into the kitchen of the old farmhouse to find it empty. Even Sadie wasn't up, yet. Looking at the old analogue clock on the wall, she saw that the time was close to four in the morning.

Too nervous and anxious to sleep, she sat at the table and waited to see who would be the first to join her. She hoped it would be her husband. She wanted a little more time alone with him before he was sent to London as their ambassador.

Getting bored with watching the clock, she let her eyes really take in this little farm kitchen for the first time.

There were no modern appliances in here except for the sink. The icebox in the corner was as old fashioned at the Jotul stove that their hostess, Sadie Eccleston, used to cook their meals. That stove, the Jotul, was an old cast-iron wood burning stove with a pipe that fed out through the kitchen wall. Not too far away the crockery shelves held pots, pans, and plates.

She sensed a movement nearby and saw Sadie in her work clothes.

"Good morning," Sadie whispered. "I could use help scattering the morning hay."

Part of Vanna wanted to turn the request down, in case she missed seeing Edison off. But she knew she wouldn't. And it would seem rude to deny a request from a woman who had been such a wonderful hostess.

She followed Sadie to the barn where they collected the hay bales and brought them to the pasture, scattering each with pitchforks until plenty of hay was laid out for the cows to eat.

"Now, let's go inside and get some breakfast going for everyone," Sadie said, as she led the way back to the farmhouse.

"Coffee ready?" Edison asked them about ten minutes later.

"Not yet," Vanna said. "Five more minutes."

"While you're waiting," Sadie suggested "why don't you help out and set the table? I'm sure the others will be up soon. You go ahead and help," she added, addressing Vanna.

Recognizing that Sadie was giving them a chance to talk before Edison's late morning departure, Vanna gave her a grateful smile as she joined her husband at setting the table.

Magnus joined them in the kitchen some minutes later followed Claire and Charlotte. Then came Eric and Todd Lynch, followed soon after by the Oliver who bypassed the kitchen and went straight out to the milking barn.

"Bryce," Magnus said, as Bryce and Jenny joined them soon afterward. "Are you really sure we need to send Edison? It seems pointless. We know they're going to just turn down any offer we put on the table."

"I know," Bryce admitted.

"What!" Vanna exploded. "If you its a pointless risk then why do it?"

"War is the same as playing a game. Just with more dead people at the end,"

"Nice attitude," Vanna chewed him out. "You think war is fun! Like video games? Is that what you mean? You don't just look like a child, you even act like one! This is not play, Bryce!"

"Of course not, Mrs. Carter," Bryce corrected her. "I mean that like a game, war is played, or governed if you prefer," he amended when Vanna glared at the word 'play' "by a set of rules. Codes of conduct, things of that nature. One of these rules is that negotiations are attempted before armed combat. That is why we are sending Edison over on this mission. If it fails, then we will have to resort to our military style back up plan."

"I suppose we don't have a choice,"

"We do have a choice," Edison told her. "Our choice is clear. Either do as we plan to, or let the world fall into chaos and ruin."

"Why not let someone else do it?" Vanna asked. "Someone with more training and experience?"

"If everyone were to let someone else do it," Edison explained, "then no one ever would."


	2. Chapter 2

RATINGS WAR 2030

by Elegant Butler

Chapter 2:

Magnus drove the car slowly down the dirt road from the farm to the main route that led through the town and to the ferry. Edison sat beside him in the front seat while Vanna sat quietly in the back, praying for her husband's safety.

Vanna wished she could sit with her husband. But she understood the importance of the discussion now taking place between Edison and Magnus.

"Start small," Magnus suggested. "I know you've been a hotshot celebrity. But that doesn't mean you have to start off the negotiation attempts with the big stuff." he swerved to miss a stray cat, causing Edison and Vanna to both smile at his thoughtfulness. "You do that, we'll be left with no way to improve what we do to win them over later. It's like serving the cake first at a party. A nice thought, but gives your guests no incentive to eat whatever else you bought and paid for."

Vanna turned back around as soon as she saw the cat cleaning its paws near the roadside, but remained in silent prayer or contemplation.

"I'm thinking of a simple one on one dinner at the Know Chow Cafe. The one where Shawn Jones used to work. It's neither too cheap nor overly ornate."

"Sounds like the perfect place to start," Magnus told him, pausing as the car went from the smooth dirt to the bumpy boards of the little bridge.

Once they were back on quieter ground, Magnus resumed. "But make sure to reserve a private area. You'll want to be heard, but not overheard. Now once you do that, do you remember which topics you'll be discussing?"

Edison nodded. "My first priority is to negotiate for the airing of more acceptable programming."

"Right," Magnus stopped the car at a red light. "That is the main item that the viewers are literally getting up in arms about. They think, after years of having 'Lumpy's Proletariat - The Nadsat Years' and 'Polly and Betsy' shoved down their throats, that they deserve better."

"They do deserve better," Edison said. "First time I saw Nadsat, I wanted to chuck my TV into the Thames and repent."

"Salvation is just a set-chuck away," Vanna proclaimed, evangelically from the back seat, eliciting a laugh from her husband. "But won't the Network resist? I mean, they're bound to think that since it's their money that it's their choice."

"We'll just have to remind them where there money ultimately comes from," Edison pointed out.

"Okay, what is the second point of discussion?" Magnus asked.

"Right," Edison went serious again. "The second point is negotiating for the limitation of advertisements and product placements. I think we should add one more thing to that. The ads they show are often inappropriate. When I'm watching a news program about a manhunt for some child molester, I do not want to see an ad for kid's vitamins featuring four to ten year olds at a playground. It's creepy."

"Amen," Vanna said, though it was unclear whether she was agreeing or just finishing her prayer.

The car soon arrived at the airport.

"I'll get in line for the tickets," Magnus said. "Don't take too long. You actually have to be the one to buy it due to security reasons."

"Right, thanks," Edison said. "Just give us a moment."

Edison and Vanna went over to the duty free shop and stepped inside. There, Edison purchased a single blue and pink rose.

"I wish I were coming with you," Vanna told him as she accepted the flower from him while he. "I'm going to miss you while you're gone. I think Bryce is, too. He may be older time wise, but he's still a teen in all the important ways."

"I know," Edison told her, drawing her into his arms. "Jenny will help guide him. And I trust you will help him out in matters of soul and conscience?"

Vanna nodded. "As I would for anyone," she promised as they drew nearer, their lips finally touching.

After a moment, they drew back and joined Magnus in the check-in line.

At the farm, Sadie and Oliver were cleaning the stalls while the cows were breakfasting in the pasture.

"I'm going to go and buy a second generator," Oliver said. "I know it's not in our budget, but all this talk about control and stuff, sounds like they want to set up a communications room." He took the full wheelbarrow out to the manure cart.

When he came back in, he continued to speak. "And rather than drain the power we need for the dairy machines, I think it best we get them a generator of their own," he said as he continued to shovel manure into the wheelbarrow. "We can hook it up in the original dairy barn. The one we started with before we got too many cows for it."

The controllers did, indeed, want to set up a base of operations in one of the unused barns. To this end, they had driven into town to pick up the computers and monitors they would need. But this proved a fruitless endeavor. as there were no shops in town that could sell them what they needed.

"You'll need to head to the mainland for that, I'm afraid," the woman who ran the last electronics shop they'd tried explained. "All we got around here are shops for the small stuff. Portable TVs and stuff like that."

And so they headed to mainland Australia to see what they could find.

Electronics was not the only dilemma this morning as Murray well knew.

He had seen Bryce sitting on the porch looking a bit glum. Having made a cup of hot cocoa, he brought it out to Bryce.

"Feeling a bit overwhelmed?"

Murray handed the cocoa to Bryce.

Bryce took it and sipped it silently.

"You could say thanks," Murray told him.

"Thanks," Bryce obliged, shrugging.

"You know, Bryce, I think that's one of your problems in this matter. You can be a bit..."

"Rude?" Bryce guessed.

"No, not rude as such," Murray told him. "You're not rude, you just lack politeness. And tact. That's your main problem. If you're going to lead an army, you've got to learn to get your men to like you. And for that you need to be more tactful."

Bryce pondered this while he sat there with Murray and silently drank the cocoa.

"I suppose you're right, Murray," he finally agreed as he drained the cup.

"How come you're alone?" Murray asked. "Where's your wife?"

"She's with Theora and Marlene," Bryce explained. "They went into town for Control supplies. Assuming they find something there, they should be back in an hour or so. If they have to go to the mainland, it'll be about two or three depending on how far inland they go."

In the Business Section of an Embraer 190, Edison sat in deep thought. The stewardess had performed the Safety Dance, and he could now just barely sense the soft rumble-purr of the jet's movement over the tarmac. Soon he and these three cabin loads of people, First Class Business and Economy, would be flying to Scotland. From there, he would take a Cinnamon which would be making a fueling stop from New Ceylon before journeying on to New Heath Row Airport.

The sensation changed from rumble-purr to just the background purr of the engines as the jet ascended.

Edison Carter was on his way home.


	3. Chapter 3

RATINGS WAR 2030

by Elegant Butler

Chapter 3:

Theora, Jenny, and Marlene set up their control desks in three of the stalls of the old barn the next morning. They hadn't used any money on actual desks in the city, that going primarily to their systems and boosters. So they were using old furniture they had bought at a tag sale they'd seen in Waddamana.

Bryce and Oliver set up the generator and tested it with each and then all of the new computers to make sure they wouldn't have any power problems.

"Looks good," Oliver said.

"Power not optimal," Bryce said, "but it should be enough. Ladies, you'll have to run at eighty nine percent. We're too far from the grid to link up and give you total power."

"We'll make due," Marlene told him.

"Marlene, get your system up and running," Bryce instructed. "We'll work on boosting that one first since you'll be linked to Edison Carter. He should be arriving at New Heath Row airport within the next few hours."

Marlene linked. "I've got an indicator light of some kind," she told them. "Is that Edison Carter?"

Bryce checked, then shook his head. "No. It's... its a secondary system box. Looks like Max is there."

"I thought you brought Max with you," Theora said.

"The network must've tricked me somehow. Released only a basic copy. Marlene, tell Edison he has got to get Max out of there. But tell him not to make the attempt until after he'd tried to negotiate with John Cheviot."

"Tell John Cheviot that Edison Carter wishes to speak to him," Edison said on the vu-phone link from the airport terminal.

"Mr. Cheviot is very busy at the moment," a woman told him.

"I see," Edison frowned. "and whom do I have the pleasure of speaking to?"

"My name is Nancy Lanscomb, Mr. Carter," the woman replied. "Mrs. Lanscomb to you. And Mr. Cheviot is extremely busy at the moment."

Edison wanted to say a few interesting words to Mrs. Nancy Lanscomb. But he remembered that he was serving as an ambassador and did not think those words appropriate to the job.

"I'll pass him your message," Mrs. Lanscomb told him as she disconnected the call.

"Edison, are you there?" Marlene's voice came through the control link on the camera.

"Yeah, I hear you, Marlene. There's some interference."

"I know. We got a power cap of eighty nine percent or so," Marlene apologized. "Bryce and Oliver are working on boosting the signal. Hold on."

Edison could hear two male voices, presumably Bryce and Oliver, talking on the other end for a few minutes. It was hard to be certain given the sporadic interference.

Finally Bryce's voice said. "Marlene, try sending again."

"Edison?" Marelene's voice came through. It was a little better, but not perfect.

"Better," Edison said. "Needs work. Can you see me?"

"There's a minor flaw in the image, but yes," Bryce told him. "we're ready for negotiations with Network 23."

"Just one problem, I can't get past the secretary. Johnny Boy's got her guarding the gate like a three-headed bitch."

"Hang on," Bryce said.

Edison heard some typing in the background. Then Bryce's voice again. "Sending you John Cheviot's personal office vu-phone number."

John Cheviot was rather startled to get a phone call a short while later.

"I don't know how you got this number, but lose it."

"I would like to sit down and negotiate with Network 23 on behalf of the viewers who..."

"There will be no negotiations," John said, firmly. "You will not come anywhere near this network."

"The viewers..."

"The viewers have no real power, Mr. Carter. We provide entertainment. They pay for it. We tell them what to buy. They buy it. They are the sheep and we are the shepherds. That is the way it has always been and will always be."

As the phone went dead, Edison remarked, coolly.

"Except that the shepherds have become wolves."


	4. Chapter 4

RATINGS WAR 2030  
by Elegant Butler

Chapter 4:

"I'm sorry, Theora," Bryce apologized the next day as he gave up on the link boost he'd been working on for nearly an hour. "Even with my skills I can't boost the link with Edison any more than yesterday. The only chance we're going to get as far as getting Max out of there is going to be by running a two-pronged attack."

"What do you have in mind?" Theora asked.

"I'll have to use one of the control computers to blind the Network. Once I do, Edison will have about ten minutes to get in, get Max, and get back out again. Assuming he doesn't run into anyone."

"Why ten minutes?" Jenny asked, curiously.

"That's how long it takes the security software to repair any changes made from an external source."

"It seems an awfully long time for a bug fix," Jenny noted.

"Remember it was Mr. Grossberg who ran Network 23 when I was hired. I didn't trust him not to use me and throw me out on the street so I made sure my backdoor password would be ignored long enough for me to wreak serious havoc if he did."

"I knew you weren't as sweet and innocent as you made yourself out to be back then," Murray muttered as stood there holding stuff. He looked ill at ease being a human shelf.

"Who me?" Bryce asked, taking on an angelic expression. Turning serious, he faced Theora. "Edison should be awake by now and getting ready to make his run. Once he's at the door, I'll run the mask program and he'll have those ten minutes we discussed earlier to get Max and get clear."

"Right. And if he doesn't?"

"Let's just hope he does," Bryce said, "because I can't think of anyone I'd trust to get him out of there who isn't in this room."

The monitor came up and after a moment, Edison's face appeared on the screen. "Okay, I'm ready. I'm just approaching the back where Network 23 tosses all their garbage."

"Right," Theora said. "Okay, Bryce can you get Edison in through the delivery doors?"

"Good idea, Theora," Bryce praised. "Hold on. I'm going to access my old system now."

"Why?"

"In order to get the doors to open, I have to make them think that a delivery is scheduled." Bryce's fingers flew over the keys, then he turned to Theora. "All go."

"Right, go on in, Edison. The door should be opening."

Edison squat-walked through the short delivery door, then stood up. "Now I know why they call it a delivery door," he remarked.

"Okay, stay behind the conveyor belt a moment," Bryce said, typing again. "Someone's coming to check the delivery. They won't see you and when they get back they'll find the delivery notice isn't there."

A man in his mid twenties examined the conveyor belt. For a moment Edison was certain that he would be spotted. Then, the man frowned and left, complaining about glitches and wastes of his time.

Edison let out the breath he'd been holding as he waited for the all clear.

"Okay, he's gone," Theora said,

"Cover program now running," Bryce told them. "Once you're at the lift, I'll run it express to thirteen. That'll give you a couple extra minutes. But I can't run the lifts too fast."

Edison dodged and ducked through the corridors until he made it to the lift. "Okay, I'm here."

The lift doors slid open and Edison walked in. A moment later, he was speeding, as lifts go, to the thirteenth floor.

Running to the Research and Development lab at the end of the corridor, Edison noticed the old Complaints Department door across from Bryce's old studio. He wondered briefly why he'd never noticed it before. He supposed it made a kind of sense now that he thought about it.

Once inside, he spotted Max's portable unit, and saw Max flickering on the screen. Realizing that Max didn't have enough power to make it back to the farm, Edison was looking for his power cord to use at Big Time or Blank Bruno's when two armed security guards rushed in.

"Forgot my hat," Edison told them, cheerfully, as he picked up the unit and began to run for his life.

The two guards gave chase, as Edison ran to the lift.

"This feels very familiar!" Edison called out as he ran with Max's box in his grip.

"Yeah," Bryce agreed with a grin, "But this time I'm on your side!"

His fingers traveled rapidly over his keyboard, allowing Edison lift access while making the magnetic locks on the stairwell does impassable.

Frustrated, the guards alerted the door guard. They could not let Edison Carter escape with the Max Headroom unit. Max knew too much about the inner workings of Network 23.

The door guard was about to stun Edison when an unexpected foot swept his legs, knocking him down and rendering him unconscious.

"We gotta get Max to Bruno, Edison" she said, indicating Max as she checked the guard's pulse. Seeing Edison's bewilderment, she added as she looked for a way to bind the security guard. "I guess I've grown up a bit since you last saw me."

"Mink?" Edison asked,

Mink nodded. "No way to tie him up. We'd better hurry before he finishes his little nap."

Edison adjusted his grip on the handle of Max's box, then followed Blank Mink away from Network 23.


	5. Chapter 5

RATINGS WAR 2030

by Elegant Butler

Chapter 5:

"Bryce," Murray pointed out as Edison followed Mink. "Airport security will never let Edison leave if Network 23 tells them Edison stole Max. How is he going to get back home?"

"Don't worry, I've got it all figured out," Bryce said, smiling wryly at what he was planning to do. "Just let me talk to Bruno and Mink when you get there."

Blank Bruno wasn't as physically spry as he had once been, but his mind was as sharp and alert as ever.

"Ah, Max," he said, as he hooked Max's box up his power grid, "nice to see you again. There you are. Drink up. We'll have you all charged up and ready to go in an hour or so."

"Bryce said he wants to talk to you," Edison said.

"How is he," Bruno asked as he connected Edison's vidicam to his vu-screen. "I heard he was awake. Must be weird for him to be so young when his friends have all aged so much."

"Not to mention the kids that were created from the DNA samples," Edison replied. "He's even got a granddaughter."

"And she's absolutely delightful," Bryce chimed in. "Okay, now. As soon as you're both finished gossiping about me I'll fill you in on what you need to do."

"We're listening," Bruno said with a chuckle. "What's your plan?"

"What swims like a duck and used to make cake?" Bryce riddled.

Bruno grinned widely. He knew the answer at once. "You think it's safe? It hasn't been used since before the war."

Bryce nodded. "Just get Edison there. And bring anyone along you think you can trust and who's up to the task."

"What's he on about?" Edison asked. "And what hasn't been used since the war?"

"You'll see," Bruno told him. Tapping at the keyboard, he soon had another Blank's face on the screen.

To Edison's confusion, Bruno sang a single verse of London Bridge.

"We'll meet you there," the woman on the screen said, "What's the theft this time?"

"Something big," Bruno hinted.

Edison kept the vidicam rolling the whole time they were traveling in the rickshaw.

Murray and Theora watched as the scene went by, sometimes accompanied by a jarring motion as the rickety old vehicle went over a bump or potholes.

"Four thousand holes in Blackburn Lancashire," Bryce sang quietly the first time this happened, earning an odd look from the others. "Okay, you should see it just around the next corner."

Theora and Murray looked at the view from Edison's vidicam in confusion as the rickshaw took the corner.

There was no airport there. Nor was there a helipad.

"I don't get it," Murray said. "Bryce are you sending Edison to take a ferry to an airport? I'm pretty sure their security has been alerted."

"Edison, turn your camera seventy-two degrees to your left," Bryce instructed.

Edison turned the camera, then stopped.

"You have got to be kidding me," he said, taking his first look at what was going to get him back to Tasmania.

"What's he looking at?" Murray asked, able only to see a few small sailboats and a dinghy as well as a pirate ship replica which was ornately decorated. Then he caught on. "Does that thing even sail? I thought it was just a standing replica?"

Bryce turned to face him. "It was until the Battle of London Bridge during the last world war. The British navy commissioned it as is and transformed it into a fully functioning battleship."

"But wouldn't the equipment the used be traceable?" Murray inquired.

"They never added any modern equipment," Bryce explained. "In fact, they took out all the stuff that was. They wanted an authentic pirate ship so they could sail wherever they wanted without being detected. Naturally they kept up it's appearance to make it look like a fun cruise rather than a counter-assault when they launched it."

As they spoke, Edison, Bruno, and Mink got off the rickshaw. Bruno went to pay the driver, but he shook his head.

"I'm coming along," he told them. "you guys are going to need all the help you can get with that."

The girl whom Bruno had spoken to arrived a moment later with four of her friends.

"Okay, we're here," she said. "Now show me what we're taking."

Bruno pointed to the pirate ship.

"This," she told him with a grin that would've made a Cheshire cat jealous, "is going to be fun."


	6. Chapter 6

**RATINGS WAR 2030**

by Elegant Butler

Chapter 6:

"Does anyone know how to drive this thing?" Edison asked as they boarded the ship.

"I'm familiar with the basics," one of the Blanks replied.

"Okay," Edison said, realizing he didn't know the woman's name. "Let's introduce ourselves before we take the next step. It's going to be confusing if we have to call out 'hey you' every time we need someone."

"Agreed," said the girl who'd been on the vu-phone. "I'm Alice. You already know Mink. This is Toby," she introduced the girl with the basic knowledge of sailing ships.

"A girl named Toby. And I thought Poncho was an unusual name for a woman."

"Hey, that's my mom you're talking about," Toby scolded, playfully sticking out her tongue. "Don't worry, her condition wasn't genetic. I've got the eyes of a hawk."

"This is Johnny," Alice continued the introductions. "He does odd jobs in construction, so he's our muscle if we need it. The ginger is Adrian and the girl with the bright blue hair is Wendy."

"What's there strengths on this mission?" Edison asked.

"I grew up on Sunset Hill as the Blanks started to cause it after that little incident. I had a telescope as a kid and as I grew up I learned all the stars' names and where they are."

"She'll be our navigator," Toby said.

"We'll use the stars as a steering guide, the way the sailors did long ago." Wendy explained.

"But right now, it's time for you all to get a crash course in the workings of this Galleon," Toby told them. "Follow me."

Toby led the group throughout the ship, explaining the various sails, their function, and how to work them.

"Storms can wreak havoc on a sailing ship," she explained. "You've got to know how to read the wind in order to make your choice. When the time comes there are only two options. Ride the wind, or drop sail. Both options have risks. The sea isn't like a road where you simply veer too far to the left. Riding the wind can throw you miles off course. Dropping sail means you are at the sea's mercy until the storm calms."

When the crash course was over, Toby guided the crew in raising the anchor and unfurling the sails. Once they were under way, Edison stored Max in the cargo hold, which Max wasn't fond of.

"Edison," Bryce said, over the camera link, "there's a button on the keypad of the box marked powersave. Press it. That's the minimum power Max can live with. Kind of like what campers called 'roughing it'. It'll keep the box running for the duration of your trip. And don't worry too much about being chased, the ship you're on is fully armed."

"With what?" Theora asked, back on the farm in Tasmania.

Bryce looked up at her. "Cannons."

Back aboard the ship, Edison rolled his eyes at this. "I'm supposed to take on a modern weaponry with cannons?"

"A battle was once won with potatoes, Edison," Bryce reminded him. "But hopefully you won't have to deal with anything military. I don't think Network 23 would go that far."

"Let's hope not," Edison agreed. "I didn't come here to fight a hopeless battle against incredible odds."

"You used to do that every week," Bryce recalled. "I'm going to unlink. Go ahead and shut down your camera. Use it only in emergencies. you have no way to recharge it and you're going to be on the sea for a few days."

"I'll check in at noon each day," Edison said.

"Send a signal check," Theora said. "It'll let us know you're there and will use up less camera power than a full broadcast."

"Okay," Edison promised. "Tell Vanna I love her."

He shut off the camera and placed it in the cargo hold with Max.

By the time he got back to the main deck, the Golden Hinde was exiting the Thames and on her way out to sea.


	7. Chapter 7

**RATINGS WAR 2030**

by Elegant Butler

Chapter 7:

For two days the new crew of the Golden Hinde sailed southward, each man and woman learning the workings of the sails, masts, and steering. There were a few tins of string beans and carrots which could be eaten cold, but no hot foods to warm the belly on a cold voyage. And the journey would get colder before it got warmer.

"We'll need supplies," Edison told them. "We don't even have a generator for Max to survive let alone much food left."

"We can attempt to grab a power source for Max here," Johnny told him. "But that is all. Network 23 broadcasts worldwide. There's no doubt there will be bounty hunters after you as well as a few of the world's population desperate to make buck or two."

"So, what do you recommend we do about our food?"

"Inaccessible Island is on our route," Toby explained. "There is a people there known as the Gimonde. (AN: pronounced Yee-mondee) The name comes from the Greek and French words for Earth. They settled Inaccessible in 2024. They have no technology, since they are almost completely cut off from the world. Instead of trying to figure it out on their own, the gave it up entirely, electing to live off the land. I don't know what we'll be able to trade. We'll have to figure something out. Because they're the only people on this route who know nothing about Network 23 putting a price on your head."

"Why don't they establish trade with outsiders?" Edison asked.

"When the group first established themselves on the island," Johnny explained, "a team of soldiers tried to have them removed so they could establish the island as a military stronghold. They responded by knocking down the seaport that had been established on the island's southern coast in 1999. Now it is impossible for fleets of ships to go anywhere near the place. Though a single ship can easily dock."

"How did you learn so much about them?" Edison asked.

Johnny smiled. "Blank Orville taught us about them in the school," he said. "He showed us where they were on something he called a map. He said Inaccessible Island was below us in a water called South Atlantic."

"And you remembered that all this time?" Edison asked, impressed.

"No. I forgot it for a long time. But all the stuff that's happening now made me remember. Like smelling your mom's favorite perfume makes you think of her, I guess."

"Makes sense," Edison said. "So, first Spain for the generator. Then to Inaccessible for food supplies."

"Agreed. We should reach Spain day after tomorrow if the weather is with us. And from what I saw in the skies today, looks like fair sailing for the next few days."

"Maybe one of us could see if there's fishing line?" Alice suggested.

"No use," Adrian pointed out. "Even if we could, we've got no way to light the stove in the galley. Until we get those supplies, we can't cook. We have to wait until we reach Inaccessible."

"Very well," Edison said. "But first let's concentrate on how we're going to get what we need in Spain. We can't steal it. That'll put more cops on our tail. We need to figure out a way to buy or trade."

Wendy started to open her mouth, but Edison cut her off.

"Not with that," he told her.

"Mister, you've got a sick mind," she scolded. "I was going to suggest a little technical help. All I've got to do is find someone who needs a quick hack job and I can barter services for trade."

"How long will that take?"

"In Baja Tecnologia? The Spanish Fringes?" Wendy asked. "About an hour."


	8. Chapter 8

**RATINGS WAR 2030**

by Elegant Butler

Chapter 8:

Wendy, Alice and Adrian caught a golf-cab at the docks when the Golden Hinde arrived at Spain.

The driver was a middle-aged man somewhere in his early forties with a reddish brown hair and brown eyes.

"We've got some technology on our boat that's going to run out of power soon," Adrian told him. "We need to find a good solar-powered generator."

"Ah! You want La Mercado de Tecnologia!"

"Mercado...?" Alice tried.

"La Mercado de Tecnologia," the driver explained. "It's not open today. Tomorrow it opens to the public. Three days every week in Baja Tecnologia from jueves to domingo. "

"Thursday to Sunday," Alice translated. "We'll have to head back to the ship and stay in port for a night. It's all we can do."

"Is there anyone who might sell us a generator today?" Wendy asked.

The driver shook his head. "La Mercado has become a tradition. To sell on any other day would get that person or shop frowned at by the others. They would be essentially blackballed for unfair sales practices."

"So, back to the docks then?" Alice asked.

"You've paid for the cab," the driver told them. "Why not enjoy a short ride and see some of the sights."

"That sounds fine," Wendy agreed while the other two nodded.

They were treated to sights of various statues of important government and religious figures which had been made with great love and respect by various sculptors. The homes ranged from simple square apartments to a small seaside manor that they had noticed while docking.

"Who owns that home?" Adrian asked.

"La Senorita de Muerte," the driver told them, shivering slightly at the name.

"Lady of Death?" Wendy wondered aloud. "Surely that's not her real family name!"

"It wasn't in the beginning," the driver explained. "It became the family name in the late eighteen hundreds, before capital punishment was banned in Spain in 1978. Before that I believe they were the Acosta family."'

"Why did they change it?"

"It was a name bestowed upon them by President Mendizabal in 1835," the driver explained. "Back then there were three families named 'de Muerte'. In each family, one member was an executioner. In two cases it was the father. But in one it was the son who held the job."

"What happened to the other two?" Alice inquired.

"When capital punishment was outlawed in Spain in the late nineteen-seventies, they changed their family names. I don't know why the remaining de Muerte family did not."

"We'd better head back to the boat," Wendy decided. "Thank you for the tour, it was very nice. I think I could live here."

"You're always welcome," the driver smiled as he brought them back to the docks.


	9. Chapter 9

**RATINGS WAR 2030**

by Elegant Butler

Chapter 9:

In the old manor house by the coast, Senorita Constance de la Muerte watched the boatmen as they motored, rowed, and sailed in and out of the harbor.

Her mother, Regina, had been recently lost her husband to in a deep sea diving accident when his line had become entangled in the anchor of sunken yacht. She had grieved for several weeks before finally taking responsibility for the family winery. Made from Monastrell grapes, they produced a fine red wine which was great sought after by many families as well as provided to many restaurants throughout the area.

Once every seven years, the family produced a special bottle of white wine, processed without modern machinery from the red grapes of the area. The reason it was made so rarely was that it was very hard to produce it by hand.

It was a family tradition, passed down from when the first bottle had been made for the head of the family, the Executioner Candelario de la Muerte to drink after his job was done for the day.

Constance had been quite excited to see the old wooden galleon pull up. She had never seen such a boat, and it brought to mind the stories her late grandfather, Cayo, had told her when she had been small enough to pick flowers without bending.

"It is such a big ship, mother," she said, at dinner that night. "Do you think they will stay?"

"I doubt it," Regina shook her head. "A boat that big is off to the wide sea. She's just here for supplies. If they didn't leave by now, they must need something from El Mercado."

A light came into Constance's eyes and Regina's own countenance darkened.

"You mean to leave!" she exclaimed. "Rosita!" she said to the maid who was setting the table, "Carlos!" she enjoined the butler, "tell her! Tell my daughter how badly she is needed here!"

The maid simply went about her cleaning, knowing that it was really not her place to make a scene.

The butler, however, smiled at Constance. "I will send my Beatriz with you," he told her. "She will be your guardian and chaperone."

"How dare you encourage...!" Regina began.

"Force her to remain," the butler warned, "and she will come to hate this house and all that dwell within. Let her roam, and in her own time she will return with great love."

Regina considered in silence throughout the remainder of dinner. Finally when her dessert was finished, she looked up at her butler. "I understand, now more than ever, why my late husband selected you as our family butler. And I thank you for sending your daughter with mine. I am certain my Constance will be well protected."

"I will accompany them to meet with the crew of the ship," Carlos said, "If I feel they would not be good for her to travel with, I will see to it that she returns home."

"You are a good butler, Carlos," Regina said. "Thank you."


	10. Chapter 10

**RATINGS WAR 2030**

by Elegant Butler

Chapter 10:

The crew of the Golden Hinde slept fairly peacefully that night. There didn't seem to be anyone after them at the moment, so they were fairly certain that news of them hadn't reached that particular part of Spain just yet.

Edison knew that it would be a little time before they found out, the coastal towns being more old-fashioned than the inland cities. But they weren't entirely without news or television and the news would reach them within the next few days if not hours.

He wished they could've laid their hands on the generator they needed that day. But trying push one of the vendors into a frowned-upon bit of early commerce would've looked too desperate.

He wondered if he should contact Bryce, find out of the young genius would have an idea of who might be the best shot. Then he remembered that any of Bryce's contact information would be almost thirty years out of date.

Listening to the silence as he lie in his mat, he soon drifted off to sleep.

Waking the next morning, he made his way up to the main deck. The waters of the Spanish port sparkled in some areas, while little clouds cast little shadows on others.

Alice was already on deck, her eyes on the nearest towns which seemed to still be asleep.

"Good morning," she said, cheerfully.

"Any idea what time it might be?"

"Well," Alice said, "if this is east," she said pointing north, "and that's west," she added pointing southeast, "then it is half past biscuit."

"I think I'll go back to bed," Edison joked, "wake me up at quarter of tuna."

"I'm pretty sure that was three hours ago," Alice confided in a serious tone that did not match the humor twinkling in her eyes. "Shall I let you nap until ten minutes 'til Jabberwocky?"

"Ten minutes past Jabberwocky," Edison compromised, going to the railing instead of the bed. Looking at the coast, he saw a far off clock tower. If it were working and not just for show, then the time was about nine-fifteen.

Looking at the postcard view more carefully, he spotted two women in their late teens or early twenties approaching along with a man in his mid forties. There was something about the style of the man's clothes. He seemed important, but not well-to-do. Not middle management, or a company president. But not royalty either. Somewhere in between those two positions. Edison realized that he would be able to ask them man who or what he was soon enough as he was clearly approaching the ship.

"Good morning," the gentleman said, properly. It was then that Edison realized what the man was. It was the colorful appearance of the clothing that had thrown him. In England men such as this were usually dressed more sedately. He was somebody's butler. But why would someone's butler be approaching this outdated ship with its impromptu crew?

"I am Carlos Viteri," the butler told him, "butler to the de la Muerte family."

The butler turned slightly and indicated the two young women with an introductory gesture. "Please permit me to introduce Senorita Constance de la Muerte, youngest daughter of the Senora Regina de la Muerta."

Constance gave a slight curtsey accompanied by a nod.

"And this is her chaperone, my daughter Beatriz," the butler continued, referring to the other young woman, whom Edison noticed for the first time was not dressed in a manner quite as fancy as the first, though she was still ornately dressed compared to the women of his own country.

"And what may we do for you on this fine morning?"

"The ladies request passage on your vessel," the butler told him. "We are willing to pay for..."

"I cannot accept in good conscience," Edison said. "It is doubtful that we will be returning to this port, so I cannot guarantee their safe return."

"They are not without funds, I can assure you, senor," the butler told him. "Should they grow homesick, they will be able to find their own way home."

"And should we become stranded where funds do no good?"

"There aren't many places like that," butler Carlos Viteri pointed out.

"But there are some," Edison replied. "And we are heading to one of those places once we leave here. Our final stop is in Tasmania. Australia. But before then, we mean to stop at the island named Inaccessible."

"We will not be a burden to your crew, senor," Constance told Edison. "If you agree to take us, I will even ask Carlos here," she indicated her butler, "to pick up a few items for the trip. It will at least get you as far as Inaccessible."

"That's blackmail," Edison chided.

"No it's not," Constance laughed, "it's bribery."

"Tell you what," Edison decided, "if you really want to go, then tell me which vendor at the El Mercado has the best generator. I need one that is solar powered."

"Juan Zavala," Beatriz spoke up, immediately covering her mouth in apology.

"It's okay," Constance told her. "You are my friend as well as my chaperone. You may speak openly in my presence."

"Gracias, Senorita." Beatriz replied. With more confidence she turned to Edison and resumed speaking. "Juan Zavala focuses the majority of his work on the various power supplies that will run the technology created by the other vendors. So while he doesn't have much in the way of things that are fun or more directly useful, when it comes to power, he's the man to seek."

"Can you show Alice which booth he can be found at?"

Beatriz turned to Constance who nodded her consent.

"Yes, sir." she told Edison.


	11. Chapter 11

**RATINGS WAR 2030**

by Elegant Butler

Chapter 11:

El Mercado de Tecnologia bustled with the curious and the competitive. There were dozens of flea market booths, carts, and stands throughout the remains of the former archology.

The building itself reminded Alice of the pictures she had seen of a place called Coliseum. Open at the top, it's staggered stories put her in mind of the seating around the arena. The upper levels looked safe enough, but were off limits to visitors.

Constance led Alice to a small cart that looked like the type which sold ice cream in the days before the world had gone to Hell.

"Juan Zavala," Constance said with a smile. "This is Alice. She's a new friend of mine."

"Alice," Juan smiled. He was not quite thirty with a wry smile and wavy black hair. His eyes were blue, which surprised her as mostly everyone else there had brown or black eyes. "My father came from Bremen, Germany. Went back there, too. Now what can I get for you ladies?"

"You've heard of Max Headroom?" Alice inquired.

"I have," Juan replied. "Computer-generated fellow. Nice guy. Funny."

"We've just rescued him recently," Alice told Juan, looking at him as if to warn against asking too many questions. "We're taking him on a journey that will last a few months. We need a solar powered generator that will keep him alive until we get to where we're going."

"Why months? And why solar powered? Most planes only take a few hours. A day or two at most."

"We can't go by plane," Alice explained. "Network 23's got bounty hunters and whatnot looking for us. So we're going by boat."

"Can't the bounty hunters chase the boat?" Juan asked her.

"It's not without protection," Alice explained. "And it would be impossible to land anything on her what with the sails and all."

"A sail boat?" Juan asked, envisioning the old sloops and catamarans that often sailed the harbor.

"Something like that," Alice agreed. "Look, I'd love to chat, but we're a bit rushed."

"Okay, okay," Juan said, sounding like he regretted that a bit.

Alice caught the regret in his voice and smiled while Juan opened the cart and looked inside at the various boxes. Finally he extracted one and opened it. Inside was a small solar battery.

"It doesn't look like much," he agreed, seeing the skeptical look on her face. "But it is covered with about a hundred solar cells. It can keep a charge for up to two days in inclement weather."

"It will have to do," Alice decided.

Constance paid for the solar battery. Then she and Alice bade Juan farewell and returned to the Golden Hinde.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 13: The Gimonde of Inaccessible

On the northern shore of the island called Inaccessible, a pirate ship was putting down it's anchor.

A landing ship was being lowered into the water on the other side. In it were Edison Carter, Blank Wendy and Blank Alice, and Constance de la Muerta with her chaperone Beatriz.

Edison rowed the boat to the shore. Then small group got out and pulled the boat the rest of the way out of the water.

Following the well-used trail, they soon found the small village of the Gimonde tribe.

Though in that year the word tribe was very rarely used, it fit the Gimonde very well. They were a medium-sized multi-family group consisting of about thirty or forty members. The oldest was in her seventies, the youngest only a few days old and suckling at his mother's breast.

The oldest woman was sewing along with the younger, her hands gnarled but not arthritic as she wove together a garment of feathers, Two feathers, one black and one red, adorned her hair. Across the bridge of her nose was a single swipe of color which looked as though it had been made by dragging a painted feather across her face, which was precisely how it had been made.

She it was who first noticed the strangely dressed newcomers as they approached her.

"Song of the morning," she greeted.

"Song of the morning," Edison replied, hoping he was understanding the custom properly. "We came from across the sea and have need of food."

"You do not need fish," she told him "You can hunt for that yourself. What you seek is the fruit of the earth. The Gimonde have that in good supply this year. But we do not give for free. For fruit you must be willing to trade that which is most priceless."

"We have no gold or precious gems," Edison said.

"There are things more precious than material wealth or fame," the old lady explained. "What is your name?"

"Edison," Edison told her. There was no risk of her telling others. People rarely visited Inaccessible, so there was no danger of her telling someone that he had been there.

"I am Terra," she replied. "I am the oldest member of this tribe, the Gimonde. We have been on Inaccessible for fifty years. My father was one of the first people to settle on Inaccessible back in the twenties. He was one of those who disocovered the method that we use for milking dolphins."

"Dolphin milking sounds very unusual," Edison pointed out.

"It was for them," Terra agreed. "And it must be carefully processed as it is very oily when it is first expressed. There is a circle of women in the tribe to the west that uses some of the ferns found on this island to create strainers. We've found that certain fern leaves soak up the oils and let only the milk itself pass through. Once that's done, we sweeten it with plant sugars."

"How does it compare to cow's milk?" Edison asked.

"I barely remember cow's milk," Terra told him. "So I can't say. You will find out tonight at our gathering."

"Edison, we can't," Beatriz told him. "If Constance's mother found out…"

"We won't tell her," Constance put in. "Besides, these people probably have set times when they harvest the food. And we won't be able to leave here until we get what we came for."

"Which we can't get until we find out what is most priceless," Edison pointed out,

"I will give you a hint," Terra told him. "It is found on leaves and carried by pages,"

"Stories," Edison realized. "You like stories from around the world."

"There are no schools here, Edison," Terra explained. "What we teach our children are survival skills. How to milk dolphins and process dolphin milk, for example. How to sew clothing made of feathers is another thing we learn. Some of us learn the art of feather fishing as we eat only the animals of the ocean and use the birds only for their feathers."

"There are many birds here," Alice said. "Surely there are enough to eat one or two."

"There are not," Terra told her. "It takes the moulting of ten birds each year to make two shirts for one member of this tribe if they are your age. And we wait for moulting before we collect the feathers. That happens only once each year."

"This tribe…"

"The Gimonde," Terra explained. "The name comes from the Greek Gi and French Monde, both words for Earth. We chose it to remind ourselves to respect the planet on which we live. We cannot survive if we do not."

"We will be happy to tell your what stories we can," Edison promised. "We are on our way to Tasmania and have great need of what we ask."

"We look forward to the tales that you have to tell us, Edison," Terra replied. Pointing down the road she added. "We meet for stories in the clearing at the end of this road. Feel free to explore the island in the meantime. If you walk north a few miles you will find a small fresh-water lagoon. You can take water for your journey from there. Another mile will take you to the second tribe. They make the feather-poles that we use for fishing. If you need fishing poles, you may arrange for trade with them."

"Who is the leader of that tribe?" Wendy asked.

"I will not tell you," Terra said, firmly. "Each person must tell their own tale."

"What about fallen warriors, or people from the past?" Alice asked.

"Those are told by their descendants," Terra told her. "We speak only of ourselves, our parents if they have joined the birds, or of the blood of our mothers. We follow the lines of our maternal ancestors because it is from our mothers that we as newlings take our first nourishment."

"You have great respect for your mothers, then," Constance said, realizing that she was starting to miss her own mother. It had been only a few days since she'd left Spain, but she was longing for the statues and the streets of Baja Tecnologia.

"It is they who create the nests in which our souls dwell," Terra said, simply.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 14 - Kai

Terra worked patiently on sewing the feather shirt she was working on. She was still several inches away from the hemline, and it would be several days before it was complete.

The shirt was made of blue and brown feathers in a mottled design. She was making it for her grandson, Kai.

Kai was ten. A quiet and thoughtful child, he loved to walk in the grass and the sands of the beach. Sometimes he watched the dolphin milkers as they sailed out to the spot where they did their work. At others, he would just gaze up in the sky, wondering what kept the birds aloft as so many do.

He had medium length sandy brown hair in soft curls and pale blue eyes, some said they were azure, others said Alice blue. His skin, though naturally light, was softly tanned by constant exposure to sunlight. The Gimonde preferred the outdoors to inside activity.

Kai's best friend was named Shelly. Her hair was just as long as his, though it was straight and light auburn in color, slightly more golden than red. Her eyes were light brown and always seemed to twinkle with amusement.

Kai and Shelly had grown up together and had been introduced at a young age. With the tribe being as small as it was, it was customary for boys and girls to be introduced young and their friendships were greatly cultivated by the parents in hopes of love, marriage, and family in their future.

In the case of Kai and Shelly, things seemed to be going very nicely. The only time they were apart was when they were learning what Kai called 'boy work and girl work'.

The Gimonde were not old-fashioned when it came to gender roles. Just practical. Smaller fingers, they decided were better for working with feather-sewing, while strong arms were needed for pulling in the larger and feistier fish or milking dolphins. There were some women in the fishing tribe who joined the hunt, and a couple of men had fingers delicate enough to help with the sewing. But they were rare.

As Terra added a new row of feathers to Kai's new shirt, her grandson ran up to her.

"How were your lessons today?" Terra asked him, smiling as she put aside the shirt. She, like the others of her tribe, always put aside their tasks when talking to family and close friends as a sign of respect.

Kai sat beside her on one of the carved benches made long ago when their ancestors had first arrived. "They were fun, I suppose," he told her. "Not in a playing kind of fun. They just seemed… you know… not like work, even though they are work."

"You mean you enjoyed them," Terra observed.

"Yeah. The fishing is great. And learning about dolphin milking is nice, too. I can't wait until I get to go out and practice on a real dolphin."

"Well that won't happen until you're sixteen," Terra reminded him.

"Yeah, I know," Kai sighed.

"We're having guests at the gathering," Terra said.

"Really?" Kai asked, excitement lighting up his eyes. "From beyond the great water? Did they come in that big boat?"

"Yes, Kai," Terra told him. "They did. And they have stories to tell us."

"That will be interesting," Kai said, softly.

"Indeed it will," Terra agreed.


End file.
